CAP IN YO ASS

I woke up this morning laughing. I dreamed that Danielle was in my bathroom, and there was something wrong with her. I asked if I could help, but she wouldn't let me. She then told me that she had to put on some kind of oinment on her asshole, and then showed me the ointment. It was a bottle of fucking glue. I laughed my ass off, thinking, "Ohmigawd, she must be uber high right now or something." No wonder she was so damn constipated! I had to go somewhere else to finish laughing so that I could help her out in a more mature way--she wasn't laughing about it, and for some reason, I felt like laughing at her plastered misery wouldn't help. My brushes have been disappearing from my bathroom, so I dreamt that I found them again--only they were in the posession of some strange cat-man and were covered in blood. He might have explained why he had them and why they were so bloody, but I don't remember.

GENE WILDER INVADES

There were trucks, and a man holding my hand. He may have looked like Gene Wilder. I felt like I was about 8-12 years old. I had a bag on my shoulder. We were walking down a highway towards this truck. Then we saw a big marquee sign with a W on it pointing to some sort of convention off the highway. We ran towards it. I had a hard time running because of the bag on my shoulder, but we got there.

There was my nana, my aunt, and their roach coach.

OF ANIMALS

The night before, I dreamt that my hermit crab, Julio, was gigantic. For a hermit crab, that is. He was about ten or so inches across , as far as the shell goes. Josh dropped him and the shell split in half. I saw Julio lying still and thought it was dead, so I began to cry. I poked him to make sure if it was dead. He began to crawl around, so I felt better. But I had to find a new shell for him. I didn't know of any shells that I had that would fit him.

Somehow, I did find a big enough shell, and Son was showing Julio a new, bigger cage for him to crawl around him. I almost swore I could see a little heart floating over his head.

We were at the pet store, and along with the bigger glass cage, Son got a tall and thin cage made of glass. Apparently, it was made for birds. Who puts birds in a glass cage, I wondered? Then I saw the cutest little brown owls any eye ever did see. They were so tiny, they could fit inside of a coffee mug or teacup. I held one in my hand, and it just chilled, looking around with it's big gold eyes. Apparently, it enjoyed being called a predator. It was a predator, after all.

Last night, I dreamt of many things, but most of all, I saw a pair of snakes in equal size and color. They were anacondas. One snake ate the other, and I felt bad for the snake being eaten. Inside the other one, it thrashed about, trying to live, suffocating and being digested at the same time. It was sad.

MIX N MATCH

Somehow, Alvin and the Chipmunks met Twilight. And I met the revived mother of King Tut.

There was a journey.

RAVIOLI SPEAKS

I was a superhero dude. I had a green outfit. I was at the prom with my chick, when these huge bad guys attacked us. Somehow, the meat of a ravioli spoke to me. Some lady was in trouble. I told the chick this and she was liek, "Whut?" "You know how you make ravioli for your family?" "Yeah?" "This ravioli spoke to me, and it wasn't for family." As if that was enough reason for me to go save some lady.

I go to the place on a tiny scooter. I can choose between a go-kart-like thing, a sweet motorcycle, and this scooter that's hardly big enough for me to fit on, but I choose the scooter because it's small enough and makes tight turns like no other. Suddenly, I come to the awesome realization: I can choose a hovercycle as well. If you've ever seen Generator Rex, you'll know what I'm talking about. So my legs turn into the hovercycle thing and I wind through this path like I've done it before. I have gone through these tight turns and narrow doorways before. I can't touch the chain-link fences or metal poles, because they'll make noise and I'll be ambushed.

I never make it to that lady.

In another dream, Mario is Link. Link is Mario. Link has a broken Master Sword, and Mario lost his parents in a haunted house. Mushrooms are everywhere, and a ghost floats in a room that Mario must go into. Mario is a worse coward than his brother. He goes into a downstair room, looking for his parents, who are upstairs and each enter different rooms. Mario must go through the game searching for his lost parents.

ZOMBIEEEZZ

I'm in a store/cathedral-like place. I dunno. There are chairs like pews and windows like a mall store. There are zombies everywhere. I'm not sure if they're Left 4 Dead zombies or Resident Evil zombies or a new breed of zombie that is both fast, strong, diverse, and turns you into a zomb if you get bitten. Whatever.

Anyway, I'm in this place battling zombies with my mother, step-father and brother. Suddenly, I'm bitten buy an asian zombie. I kill him, but I still turn into one myself. But, instead of totally losing control and crying, "BRAINS BRRAAAIIINNSSSS!" I am still humanly sane. I look over and see a seriously fat zombie guy. He thinks I'm a zombie sister, so he invites me to kill my family with him. Somehow, he's blood-thirsty and sane. Okay. I'm not sure exactly what he's doing, but he extends his hand to me as if I were to take it. I do. We semi-tango over to my family. Right before we get to them, I shove him away. But wait! That wasn't part of the script!

I'm in a movie. The fat guy looks at me as if I'm retarded. The scene has been cut so that I can look over the script. Apparently, I shove him in a different direction. We don't try again. Instead, I see myself in newsreels, like E! news and stuff. I'm going to be in the new zombie movie. Somehow, I'm prettier. I have shorter hair. I almost look like Taylor Swift.

I wake up, stretch and turn around. My leg cramps up and I writhe in pain. FFFFFFFFFFF.

THANKSGIVINGISH MUCH?

I was looking for something. I could have been Thanksgiving, or maybe I was looking for the lost Thanksgiving. I dunno. I woke up and it was toasty in my room, thanks to my new heater that my parents bought.